Some one on myyearbook decided to ask if I've ever thought of having kids with my current boyfriend. I was at a loss for words so answered the only way I could think of, with a question. Now I've been constantly thinking about this question and I've really thought about it. I've never really imagined having kids with anyone, I have always thought about having kids but I've never thought of myself with another person while I have kids. Its not that I don't want to be with anyone while I have them I've just grown up around women who usually where single mothers. My aunt I think is the only woman I know that has been married once still is and has kids with her husband. I have thought once with my first boyfriend about kids with him mostly because every time we had sex he would go on and on about how he would take care of me if I got pregnant. I appreciated the thought very kind it just freaked me out a bit considering I was living with my parents and was still in high school, I didn't want kids just then.
I am now in complex thought because I've realized if I have kids I wont have to be alone and think of ways I could afford raising the quadruplets I'd have with an unkown man I'd slept with (FWI: Nina hasn't slept with any one she didn't know first.). So now that I have gotten this across to you I've also now put into consideration other thoughts because obviously the situation deals with financial issues it also deals with the questions "What are my partners morals?" I'm not greatly into religion so this one doesn't really bother me as long as I'm not teaching my kids to kill and eat the other kids in town. There are other questions like "What is my partner like with kids?" I know that I'm not perfect with kids and they tend to annoy me these days because there isn't a day where I'm not around children I think this also has a factor in why I practice safe sex... sometimes.
On this note I don't want kids until I'm in a stable environment and I'm damn sure that even if it doesn't work out between me and the man I'm with I can still take care of my own on my own. I like to be safe maybe that's my flaw because I tend to over think sometimes and I forget that life is random so I should just sit back to relax. Another thing is that I really am big with family, I know I don't have a perfect relationship with my dad and I tend to for get he exists but I'm very over protective of my kin and I'm sure if I ever have kids I will be ultra mommy.
So in answer to this persons question, No I had not thought about it really until you asked and now I'm always thinking about it. Sometimes I get scared of my thoughts and this one I'm in way to open a space with nothing solid to hold me down so let me please just lock it in my head for a bit and when I can build a bridge for solid ground in this place I'll figure out if I can stand in it on my own. Thank you.
I am now in complex thought because I've realized if I have kids I wont have to be alone and think of ways I could afford raising the quadruplets I'd have with an unkown man I'd slept with (FWI: Nina hasn't slept with any one she didn't know first.). So now that I have gotten this across to you I've also now put into consideration other thoughts because obviously the situation deals with financial issues it also deals with the questions "What are my partners morals?" I'm not greatly into religion so this one doesn't really bother me as long as I'm not teaching my kids to kill and eat the other kids in town. There are other questions like "What is my partner like with kids?" I know that I'm not perfect with kids and they tend to annoy me these days because there isn't a day where I'm not around children I think this also has a factor in why I practice safe sex... sometimes.
On this note I don't want kids until I'm in a stable environment and I'm damn sure that even if it doesn't work out between me and the man I'm with I can still take care of my own on my own. I like to be safe maybe that's my flaw because I tend to over think sometimes and I forget that life is random so I should just sit back to relax. Another thing is that I really am big with family, I know I don't have a perfect relationship with my dad and I tend to for get he exists but I'm very over protective of my kin and I'm sure if I ever have kids I will be ultra mommy.
So in answer to this persons question, No I had not thought about it really until you asked and now I'm always thinking about it. Sometimes I get scared of my thoughts and this one I'm in way to open a space with nothing solid to hold me down so let me please just lock it in my head for a bit and when I can build a bridge for solid ground in this place I'll figure out if I can stand in it on my own. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment